Kids, Life

Teamwork

March 20, 2012


I’m 32 weeks pregnant today! Only about a month and a half to go (yikes) to welcome Baby #3! Some people say it takes a village, some people say it takes a grandma, or a few nannies and babysitters to help you raise your children. Right now it’s just Jose and I ready to take on and be outnumbered by our new addition. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to balance the flow around here as my belly is getting bigger, I am more tired and there is so much going on! As you recall, our babysitter Isabella had to leave us for an amazing internship in France, so we have another sitter or as I like to say, “mother’s helper” to help me hold down the fort while Jose is at work Monday through Friday. Yesenia is working out great and I hope she doesn’t become frightened once the third boy joins the craziness. But there is nothing like Daddy’s hands. Jose and I tag team, have a harmonious flow, love schedules, and together we are organized. He is a true hands-on daddy. I feel a little guilty (just a little) that he does more than his share on the weekend.

I have two former students that I keep in touch with through Facebook. They both became young fathers a few years ago and they are still in their early twenties. They both have little girls and they are close to Diego’s age! I know that they are not with the mothers of the girls and I see through their status updates and pictures that they are very involved in their little girl’s lives. Both seem like really good dads. I like to think that my two students know that when they find a partner (one of them jokes that he wants a woman to cook and clean and later grab a beer with him to watch a basketball game) if they know how to balance each other, he will find a basketball-loving girl (or one that will sit with him while the game is on) that may or may not cook and clean but one that will know to appreciate him. Diego sees Jose unload the dishwasher, cook (well on the grill really), change diapers and help with their bath. Diego also sees a much calmer, happier and a very relaxed mom when dad is home.

The bottom line is: I appreciate and am grateful for all that Jose does. He teaches, he encourages and he keeps me sane! And I know that Jose appreciates the work I do Monday through Friday and understands the nature of having to “rescue” me so I can re-charge and do it all over again. There is no way I’ll say no to him when he asks me to sit in the backyard with him while he starts a fire in his new outdoor fire place (while smoke fills my hair and I watch him with envy pour a glass of wine for himself) and he deserves me to listen to his March Madness updates (last time I watched any basketball Michael Jordan was still playing) and watch football, baseball, even boxing (!) with him. We’re a team with our boys and in our marriage. We both know our job is to parent and we give each other the respect we deserve to still be a little bit of the old us. We don’t have grandmas around and we don’t have a village but we have each other and I couldn’t ask for a better partner.

I hope you have a partner AND loads of babysitters to help out too!

Your Friend,

Betty

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10 Comments

  • Reply Yvette S March 21, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Omg!! This made me tear up a bit! Thank you Jose for being a wonderful man to not only my amazing, gorgeous, hard working, intelligent cousin but also to my wonderful nephews. I love you guys so much and I am so grateful to have you both as Aleiyah’s godparents. She is a lucky girl! It is hard work being a parent but I know that we wouldn’t change it for the world. I am so lucky to have brought 2 children into this world. It’s great to have a helping hand always. I can’t ever say no to that. 🙂
    I love that my mom lives close by and my mother lives even closer right in the apartment above us. You guys have a great system and work well together! xoxo

    • Betty
      Reply Betty March 21, 2012 at 8:41 pm

      We love you too! Thanks! xoxo

  • Reply Bertha March 21, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    Me and Luis were talking about this the other day! I get to see what a great dad he is every day! We were talking about my intense marathon training once again, last year he just took over the house, Daniela, cooking and cleaning while I ran 15 or 20 miles for 5 hours or did one of my 5 Zumba classes. He would do drop off and pick up with Daniela from daycare. I never worried that I was taking time away from Daniela and me because as long as she’s with one of us, I’m all good!! We get to do it again this year!

    • Betty
      Reply Betty March 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm

      Yes our husbands are not our fathers (no offense pa!) My dad did a lot but boy, Jose has really impressed me! Good luck with your training! xoxo

  • Reply Liz A March 22, 2012 at 1:05 am

    You’re are so right that we will keep our sanity if we are lucky to have a partner (or anyone) and work as a team! There is no such thing as a stress free parenting for either working moms or stay at home moms (or dads). I too am fortunate to have family close by and to be married to a great husband and father to our two beautiful but handful children (most of the time). Ellie, my eldest was 7 and one-half months old when I got pregnant with my 2nd and boy oh boy I was feeling thrilled, scared, nervous, shocked, guilty all kinds of emotions. My poor Ellie was having a younger sibling when she still required a lot of our attention and love. Luckily Jesus, my husband, helped me so much and till this day we still give each other support. If we’re out let say at a pool, we each have one child to watch over (one child for one parent, haha) There are times we want another child and then we scratch that idea. Who would watch over the third if there are only two of us we would say? I guess you just take it day by day and if we are fortunate enough to have someone to lend us some help even better, I’ll accept their kindness. Parenting is a never ending job but we also need to remember to give our partners equal time of dedication, because when our kids grow up and they leave us I still want to wake up every morning next to my hubby 🙂

    • Betty
      Reply Betty March 25, 2012 at 10:41 pm

      I totally agree Liz! We need to remember to give our hubbies the attention they deserve! Thanks for sharing! xoxo

  • Reply Book Review #3-Raising Happiness « My Friend Betty Says… March 28, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    […] It takes a village. I talk about this a lot don’t I? And Dr. Carter says, “If I have to pick the one thing that matters most […]

  • Reply raquelito April 28, 2012 at 12:28 am

    Guero and I made some delicious tostadas de picadillo ( not hard but we CAN’T cook). We were so proud of ourselves that we actually high-fived each other and said “teamwork!” Since we both work and I do not get home until after 6pm. We would not be eating until 8p and if a bath for Emma is on the agenda my poor girl would not “mimis” until 9p. So while I’m cooking the ground beef, Guero is bathing Emma. I do not know how single mother’s like my mama did it. I need the help of my husband. I know several SAHM who’s husbands do not help them because they do not work. I’m flabbergasted when I hear that because just about everything could be done with teamwork. That’s why choosing to have 3 children was the best choice for you both. Teamwork works! Best wishes on the new addition.

    • Betty
      Reply Betty April 29, 2012 at 9:17 am

      Thanks Raquel and thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I read every single thing you wrote! Much appreciated!! xoxo

  • Reply Blindsided: An Ambulance, Three Hospitals and Two Dr. Visits January 21, 2013 at 3:23 pm

    […] EMTs, my mother, my friends and family and especially my personal nurse, Jose). It truly takes a village and especially a lot of love and care to help with the most sensitive of […]

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