For YOU, Life, Positive Series

Positive Series Part 1

November 21, 2012

I’ve been pondering a lot lately whether or not some people are wired up to be more positive than others? Since inviting you to challenge yourself to be a more positive person a few weeks ago, I have been soul-searching myself about the experiences in my life that have given me that consciousness of staying positive and happy.

A long time ago, I lived in a not-so-positive home. I lived with a father who demanded excellence but never praised our efforts or achievements. From my personal perspective, nothing was ever good enough for him and although he worked hard and was/is deep down a great man, he couldn’t see the greatness in others.

My mother, the kindest person, truly an angel on this earth, didn’t seem happy for a while either, and has actually recovered from years of severe depression. A battle we have all fought and won with her.

My mother taught me at an early age to not let other people’s awful attitude, including my poor dad’s, define me. A believer of God but not a every-Sunday-church-going woman, she taught me that I could pray anywhere, I could always turn the other cheek but I was never to let someone else shape my attitude. She taught me to always think about why a person was so rude and negative. To put myself in their shoes, to be tolerant because we never know what someone’s walk in life has been like.

A long time ago, I was also in a relationship that brought out the worst in me. I lived five-years of my life in our bubble. I realize now that it was such an effort, I couldn’t look out of what I was experiencing. I was missing other people’s lives, other moments. It also drew emotions ranging from rage to moments of complete bliss, sometimes both in an instant. I wanted to be so happy with this person and I wanted to change him. I learned, eventually, that I can only change myself to achieve happiness.

Jose and I didn’t grow up with much. We have worked hard, made tough sacrifices, and have had sprinkles of good luck thrown our way. We, of course, have made mistakes too and now look back at things we could have done better and take that knowledge for the experiences that await us.

This Positive Series will be about my journey to this point of my life. A positive, driven, happy and content life. I’m not done. I know there will be dark days but I know there will be brighter ones too.

Before I introduce Part 2 of this series, take this long Thanksgiving break to think about your happiness. Remember that there are short-term gratifying moments and a long-term lifestyle for happiness. Think about the little things that make you happy. I just posted my latest this past Monday! It is important to notice the small things in life too (more on that later). Then think about where you would like to be in 5,10, or 15 years from now. Feel free to share these goals (short-term or long-term) on the comments below. Or if you want to keep it private, message me. I’d love to help you out with specific examples.

The season of all seasons to celebrate and be happy is upon us. Even though this piece was carefully thought through and not easy to write, I’m glad it is now out in the universe at this time. I am so thankful this Thanksgiving for my experiences and the ability to share them with you.

I know where I want to go. I hope you do too.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

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  • Reply Heather November 24, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Betty this is great! Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there that love to complain and be negative CONSTANTLY. I have my days when I need to vent, but I try to smile and think positive thoughts everyday.

    • Betty
      Reply Betty November 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

      Hi Heather!
      Yes, A good friend once told me not to feel guilty for the little vents we have now and then. We are human!!! xoxo
      Betty recently posted..Photo Gift Ideas #1My Profile

  • Reply Leticia November 25, 2012 at 8:25 am

    I love it!!! For a minute, I felt as if I had written this! 😉 We endure so much on a daily basis that it becomes easy to confuse the lines between real peace, love & happiness and that of fabricated lies. I come into contact with over 250 people while at work and it AMAZES me how fake people can be.

    Nevertheless, I continue to smile from my heart and speak to my next guest as if they are the first ones of the day. I try to do the same at home with my own children, althought I must admit some days are more challenging than others :-\

    I love reading what you write and it inspires me to be more aware of my own actions as well as to turn a blind eye to those who choose to be negative around me.

    Can’t wait for whats next!

    • Betty
      Reply Betty November 26, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      Thanks Leti! I catch myself too, someone treats me poorly and I hesitate, check my feelings and kill them with kindness! You never know what is going on with people!!!! So better to know what is going on with you. Consciousness! xoxo
      Betty recently posted..Photo Gift Ideas #1My Profile

  • Reply Unknown Mami November 25, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I feel like my entire life is about learning the same lesson and truth over and over again. I find that truth and lesson in just about everything I seek out. It is about balance and perspective. I learn over and over again that I am blessed if I notice and that noticing begets more blessings. If I focus on the negative the same is true. I’d much rather be blessed, but on occasion I forget to notice and I have to learn my lesson again.

    • Betty
      Reply Betty November 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

      HI UM !! It’s a work in progress, isn’t it? And that is life. It’s so much better to be aware and keep working on our issues than not being aware, not wanting to progress… xoxo
      Betty recently posted..Photo Gift Ideas #1My Profile

  • Reply Patty November 26, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    As always you leave me thinking. Haven’t had a chance to say this before but thank you for your blog I check it almost every day. When I have my daily conversations with God, I make it a point to say all the things I’m thankful and happy for. I think this helps me stay positive in the midst of this crazy sometimes stressful life. I had a not so great childhood, so now when I see my home and the great family that fills it, it reminds me how great things can be with the right attitude and actions to go with it.

    • Betty
      Reply Betty November 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

      HI Patty,
      Thank you for the kind words. You readers out there keep me going. 🙂
      What is that quote, “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way!” Hard childhoods can negatively shape a person. ANY hard relationship can! Rather than continuing the cycle…let’s get on with it. I love my parents and wish nothing but the best to my old bf, coming to terms with what made you unhappy is a huge step. xoxo
      Betty recently posted..Photo Gift Ideas #1My Profile

  • Reply Positive Series #2-Discovering and then Leaving Your Comfort Zone November 28, 2012 at 12:01 am

    […] shared a little bit of pain with you last week as I introduced the first part of The Positive Series. Whew! Now that it is out…let’s focus on the happy stuff, shall […]

  • Reply Nancy November 28, 2012 at 12:35 am

    I have decided to love and appreciate what God has giving me everyday, I know that I don’t have a perfect life or a perfect marriage but im for certain that i have more than i deserve. My children are my priority and I decided to be positive for them even on the most hardest days, it’s not easy, but like you said your childhood experiences will shape your adult life and I will try as hard as I can to make their life as happy as It can be for a better future. I don’t know what God has in store for my personal life but I know for sure that for as long as I live I will be next to my children supporting them, helping them and loving them.

    • Betty
      Reply Betty November 29, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      Good points Nancy and I also think, we want better for our children right? Although our parents were in different situations and of course did fantastic things for us, we learned from them what we don’t want to do (sorry mom and dad!) AND we will make mistakes and our children will learn from that as well. xoxo
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