For YOU, Kids, Positive Series

Positive Series #3-Don’t Settle

December 6, 2012

I had a completely different intro for this week’s series post. But as I have had a pretty rough week (or two), I just wanted to be real honest. I seem to be tested every now and then (as I am sure a lot of you are too). For me,  maintaining a positive environment for my boys is the ultimate goal. You already know why. As I yelled and slammed cabinets last night and Diego cried for about 2 hours straight (Was he exhausted? hungry? I tried to figure it out, but failed), I couldn’t forgive myself for acting like I had lost control. I crawled into bed at 9pm last night and as I reflected, I remembered that this jotting down business helps me, I hope to help you and I hope the cycle continues. No parent is perfect but I vow to do better. Enjoy.

As I continue my Positive Series here on my blog and I continue to ask you to find the positives and seek the benefits, it occurred to me that the little things in our lives can sometimes become huge factors in our personal attitudes. There are daily challenges that we  sometimes “give up” on and lose focus on matters that were once very important to us.  There is the famous quote all of us mothers use when speaking of our children, “Pick your battles”. Honestly, there are some days that I choose to fight them all.  Some battle in our daily lives are well worth it, full of long-lasting benefits- if we are determined to conquer. For me, seeing myself or my kids progress in these small things below, really shape my positive outlook.

Are you fighting the same battles?

The Bilingual Issue:  This topic is huge for us and it’s paying off. At Diego’s first kindergarten conference a few weeks ago, both his teachers said they noticed how much Diego loves his culture and heritage. We are so happy that the Spanish curriculum starts in the first grade!  I see Santi mastering English because he hears everyone speaking English around him. I stop to think though, if Jose and I want him to communicate with his grandparents, we have to be conscious and re-focus on speaking to him and to Jordi in Spanish as much as possible. It is hard work but a benefit we will not regret.

Staying Organized: Major props to working  parents who are in charge of the school notifications and calendar. It is a full-time job in itself! Back in September, I had a 14 day stretch of no TV for me. I didn’t plan it! I had the house, the kids, Diego’s activities and school schedule, my blog and everything else. Staying organized is a huge priority and necessity for me. If the house is a mess, I can’t think straight and I become VERY irritable. My kids have to stay organized as well. Simply making minor adjustments in our home has had beneficial results. We are all happier too when we can find toys, books and clothes in an instant!

Be Your Best Self: I don’t care if I have to correct bad behavior all day long. I try my best to model the type of attitude I expect from the boys. It does backfire sometimes! For example, I am a total witch at meal times (it’s getting better). I know my boys are not perfect because I am not perfect…but I won’t settle. Knowing how to behave in different scenarios will help them out in the future. Starting with pleasantries at home are a huge advantage.

Exercise and Healthy Eating: Everyone will have off days. But it’s important for me to instill exercise and healthy eating in my children’s lives right now. There are Saturdays that we wish we didn’t have to go to another soccer game. There are days I don’t want to cook or personally work out. I take great pride after cooking and watching everyone enjoy my meal!  Also, there is a quote out there these days, “Wow, I really regret that workout. Said no one ever.” For me, exercise helps me stay clear headed and positive. I’m less tired in the morning and feel fantastic after 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Long Term Goals: I’m always thinking, “what will I write/read/do/etc. next?” It’s important to have goals in mind for you and your family that will benefit everyone. For example, planning short trips and vacations should keep you focused to save a little more, to plan and to have something exciting to look forward to! It doesn’t even have to be so big. My favorite: date nights! I plan my outfits, make reservations and look forward to that amazing meal with my better half.

 I feel better after re-reading this. If you think someone can benefit from this post, please share it! My mission continues to help people put things into perspective, be grateful and live surrounded by positivity. 

 

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4 Comments

  • Reply Nina December 7, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    Hey Betty, sorry to hear that you’ve had a rough couple of weeks. I’m sure re-reading your list helps put things in perspective for you.

    Whenever I have a crappy day, I remind myself that I’m allowed to have these days, and that more often than not, it goes back to normal again. It’s so easy for me think that this is always how it is, especially when I’m smack in the middle of it, but sure enough, the good days come back.

    I also allow myself to veer away from the usual path and the rules once in a while if it means saving my sanity. For instance, I’m usually strict when it comes to bedtime, but there was this one particularly harrowing day when I was just so not in the mood to bathe my tantruming son and instead waited a bit longer for my husband to come home to handle him. Days like those, I tell myself that he’s not going to die if he gets one hour less of sleep, and instead I don’t risk acting out in ways I wouldn’t want to.

    Hang in there mama…
    Nina recently posted..7 ways to help a postpartum momMy Profile

    • Betty
      Reply Betty December 17, 2012 at 7:55 pm

      Thank you Nina. I really needed to read this. Everyone tells me I’m too hard on myself but some of these things are really important to me, you know? I’m working on myself every single day and trying to cut myself some slack. I appreciate your kind words! xoxo
      Betty recently posted..To Quoute the Famous…#3My Profile

  • Reply Nancy December 14, 2012 at 1:25 am

    Betty I really admire everything you do, the way you plan and organize meals outfits etc. I would love to be like that I think about it, but it never happens, i feel sometimes like Im just not like that, like my type of personality ir the way i was raised does not allows me to be an organized person, I seem to enjoy working and getting ready under stress, I feel like I do so much more if I’m getting ready and I only have 15min to get out of the house than if I start 2 hours before. Everything i do even cooking comes to me unexpected, I never plan a meal, I just start putting ingredients together and surprisingly, I get a delicious outcome. I most of the times make decisions right at the moment than trying to think about the situation before hand. I feel many times like I failure for not being organized and even sometimes feel like I should not be organized because I feel that this is the way I’m. I have to find a book about this kid of stuff so I could understand why I feel the way I do. And also because of me not being organized I end up with piles of clothes in corners because I star organizing a closet and I did not plan my time right and I end up doing someting more important like cooking or helping with homework. Anyway with my kids there is always a time of the day that I loss it, and you are so right about the mimic behavior, and I noticed Melina acting like me towards Christy sometimes and I constantly have to remind myself that I have to be calm towards them so they could act calm as well. Overall it’s very hard to deal with three kids that have three different personalities and temperament and also having to clean cook and run around with three kids everywhere. But like you said it’s good to write what you go through so you could see what changes you can make to improve and be a better person. Thanks Betty for open up and best wishes !!

    • Betty
      Reply Betty December 17, 2012 at 10:17 pm

      Nancy, HI!
      Why a failure if what you are doing works for YOU? Like Nina said above, when it comes to the things that shouldn’t matter, let’s give ourselves a break. When it comes to things important that it affects our kids, then react.
      AND it sounds like you know what you need to improve on, and I’m sure you are being tough on that too!!!
      Being a mother is hard work. Being a good person is hard work. Simply being conscious and doing our best is so important.
      Hang in there Mama! I”m sure you are doing fantastic.
      Feel free to email me personally with any further questions.
      xoxo
      Betty recently posted..To Quoute the Famous…#3My Profile

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