Life

Not Enough Hours in a Day

June 25, 2012

Happy Monday everyone! I hope you had a nice weekend. I didn’t get to sign off and wish you well last Friday! Let’s just say things got a little hectic around here.

I always feel very humble when friends say such kind things about me as a mother. But the truth is, there are times I feel like things are falling apart all around me. Last week was my first week alone with the three boys. I had just hit the five week postpartum date and started feeling better from my surgery. Jordi is still sleeping a nice stretch at night, my body is starting to feel “normal” again, and Diego started half day camp at his new school. Things were going smoothly. I was handling it…then I wasn’t.

There really wasn’t any breaking point. Nothing happened. The three boys were healthy as can be and simply…happy. Me? I was tired. Exhausted actually. By the time Thursday rolled around I was snapping at Diego for no reason and every time Santi screeched I felt my nerves were shot. That night I had chocolate chip cookies for dinner and sobbed while everyone slept.

On Friday I got in the car to pick up Diego and after venting to a dear friend over the phone, I felt a little bit more refreshed, but only after she endured my rant and my tears. It could have been that it was Friday and the weekend was arriving which meant Jose’s extra pair of hands would pick up a baby or two. It could have been the drive on a gorgeous summer day was all I needed or simply that my girlfriend reminded me that I don’t have to try to be perfect all the time. That there are not enough hours in a day to try to achieve everything I want to achieve. It could have been everything combined but the reminder from her really hit home.

I have always been a hard-worker with high expectations of myself. I would be the first to tell you that I WISH I could be a little bit more relaxed and less uptight. But I just can’t. What I do makes me happy. Taking an hour or two of my day to sit here and write or read makes me really, really happy. But I stress to try to give myself this time, I stress to make sure the boys are well taken care of (what mother doesn’t?), that my house is organized and clean, that I get my nails done, that I go to the gym, that I cook a healthy meal, that Jose and I have time to talk every night…the list goes on and on. And then my shoulders flare up and I am in pain because of the stress to do the things that make me happy…sigh.

As I sit here with tired feet and aching shoulders, I am grateful for my friends who are honest with me and tell me to chill out. I have advised you to stop and smell the roses, to be present, yet I am not all the time. But I am conscious of it once again and will take a step back, I will ask for help when I need it and I will let some things go (just please don’t take away by blog!!!!!!!!).

Another good friend gave me an awesome idea and I really believe it will help me with a few posts; I would love to extend my blog to you and ask you to become a guest blogger. If you have a passion you would like to share with an intimate audience, send me an email (see the Contact tab above) with an excerpt of a great mommy story to share, a craft idea, a book review, photography, health news or party themes/ideas. Anything that is “My Friend Betty Says” related. There are already two scheduled guest bloggers and I can’t wait to share their stories with you!!

This of course is a time saver for me…and I thank you in advance.

Your friend,

Betty

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7 Comments

  • Reply Leticia June 25, 2012 at 8:30 am

    Buenos dias Betty and “Happy Monday!” I love reading your blogs but never feel that I have time to comment nor will it be of great constructive use, in my opinion…until today.

    I totally got what your feeling. We are in a similar boat in that we have 3 boys. Mine are a bit older than your and I also have a 4th which is a girl. I was at school, coming home to cook, clean, wash laundry, help with my son’s homework; I mean yes, the list is endless!

    I have “given up” some peerks for other. Instead of stressing over the laundry (which always seems to be there) I take the kids to the park or the zoo.

    I’ve learned that sometime a pre-made meal is better than homemade (and my feelings are not hurt). I would get so upset that they would not eat the sopita de fideo fallowed by oven roasted chicken with herbs, complemented with rice, veggies and fruit. All to realize that Boston Market or Popeye’s is all left behind as well. They are testing what they like and don’t like, so in the meantime I shall wait and see what happens.

    I know you are far from family but if Diego is away 1/2 day, try taking advantage during that time to give them a nap (if its within their time) that way you have that little time to yourself.
    When family and friends visit, let them help! They want to hold the baby, sure, here you go. Someone wants to bring a meal, ok.

    No one comes with an instruction manuel, except electronics and even then no one reads it and you still manage fine on your own. I feel that family life is the same.

    Everyone walks around on egg shells not to say what to do or how to do it as to not offend. Then you have the one loud mouth of the group and even then that person’s opinion is not often validated because when they talk they speak the blunt truth no one wants to hear.

    It’s all trial and error and not everything is suitable for everyone at the end of the day. My boys are all different on every level and then tossing my daughter in the mix…it’s always an unmanagable situation but I wouldn’t have any other way.

    I hope to read of your blogs and give yourself some time to find your groove. My children go from oldest 9, 5, 4 and the baby 1 yr & 9 mos

    • Betty
      Reply Betty June 25, 2012 at 12:55 pm

      Hi Lety! Yes, it is all a learning experience isn’t it? What I loved doing for Diego isn’t always happening for Santi and Jordi. The more kids in the mix, the changes in parenting. Thank you for the tips and for your words of encouragement. Your baby girl and Santi are close in age!! Santi is 1 yr 7 months. Awww! xoxo

  • Reply Tejal June 28, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Hi Betty – it’s your long, lost friend Tejal. I recently learned of your website and I have say kudos! to you! What an absolutely amazing accomplishment. This site is adelight to read – as a woman, as a mother, as a working mother, as a wish-I-were a stay at home mother. Thank you for providing so much inspiration and most importantly the sense that I’m not alone out there in feeling that there simply are not enough hours in the day. I love your article on Mommy vs. Mommy. Thanks also for the wonderful book suggestions. My girls (almost 20 months now!) love reading and I’m constantly look for new books to encourage their reading. I simply do not know how you’re managing with all three boys as I know having just two is a handful. Let me know when you’re finally ready for that drink – would love to meet up with you and Jose. Congrats again and I look forward to your future posts.

    • Betty
      Reply Betty June 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm

      Tejal!!!!! Hi!!!! So glad you found us! Thank you. I really appreciate your words. I tell Jose that I NEEDED this and I’m glad I started to share my writing and suggestions when I was pregnant with our third. It truly keeps me sane and since I miss teaching so much I figured passing on some good info would be nice. How do I do it? How DO YOU do it??? Twins and working…bravo! Let’s get together soon and I hope all is well with you all! xoxo

  • Reply Different Shades of Friendship | My Friend Betty Says… June 29, 2012 at 8:39 pm

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  • Reply Jenny July 3, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    I love this one. I did so much more w my daughter alex than ash. I feel guilty about it. The funny that is that what I did with Alex ash was able to catch on right away. There was times where I would be so tired I would order pizza or let the laundry go. At first I felt like a bad mom and wife but it wasnt worth beating myself up about it. It did get cleaned at a later time. I actually had my niece come stay with us and she would dust and organize stuff I just didnt have time for. Once I let it go and not stress I felt so much better.

  • Reply Ready to Workout? | My Friend Betty Says… July 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm

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