I couldn’t help myself. I already had one-too-many things in my Target shopping cart today and although I have seen images of Jessica Simpson and her baby bump, I couldn’t resist picking up the April edition of Elle. People have criticized Jessica throughout her pregnancy but all I could think was, “Damn, Girl!”. If she is feeling fabulous with her pregnancy weight then more power to her. I read the article while shoving a frozen pizza down my throat (but it was Trader Joe’s pizza!) and realized that she might be having a ten pound baby girl! Again, more power to her. Her fiance is an athlete and she is curvaceous so a ten pound baby sounds about right.
I don’t put on a lot of weight during my pregnancies, I have had small babies and yet you won’t catch me posing nude anywhere! I did belly pics when I was pregnant with Diego because I felt fabulous at 28 in my 34th week. I don’t feel fabulous anymore…so no pictures. So sweet readers, not for you to tell me otherwise, but here is a little list of why I don’t feel so hot during my third experience.
1. I’m not a fabulous mom when I am the one having a tantrum.
2. I’m not a fabulous mom when I whine to Jose about the kid’s whining all day.
3. I’m not a fabulous mom when I wear yoga pants four days in a row and don’t actually attend yoga.
4. I’m not a fabulous mom when my hair isn’t washed for x amount of days (I can’t even write down the number because it is so embarrassing) and I convince myself that it looks better dirty.
5. I’m not a fabulous mom when I fall asleep on the couch at 9 o’clock at night and in the morning I regret not having washed my face.
6. I’m not a fabulous mom when I stuff my face with a frozen pizza (regardless of it being from Trader Joe’s!).
7. I’m not a fabulous mom when Diego walks across the kitchen floor and announces, “crumbs on the bottom of my feet!”
8. I’m not a fabulous mom when I miss someone’s after school activities because it is just easier not to go.
9. I’m not a fabulous mom when Diego draws a picture of me with an iPhone attached to my cartoon self.
10.I’m not a fabulous mom when I convince myself that Sprout TV is really, really, really educational. Go ahead and watch another show.
Sigh. As you can see, it’s not all about appearances. You can feel not-so-fab with other things that have nothing to do with makeup or high heels. But please, no sympathy! I would like to hear your not-so-fab moments and we can all continue this good laugh. We laugh because we know we can make a list of 10 things or more that make us so awesome and glamorous too. We might not look like Jessica Simpson but we know she’s going to feel like us soon enough!